her pensive thoughts

i'm quite happy!
because he wished me happy birthday!

i didn't expect him to remember
i also didn't expect him to wish me

i thought that if he didn't even want to wish me for my 'o' level
i doubt that he'll wish me happy birthday
but he proved me wrong

but still, in the sms, he wished me good luck for 'o' level
like wth? i only left 2 papers?!
all my major papers are already finished

well, whatever
at least he wished me, right?
a person can't be too greedy

he didn't reply my sms
i don't care anymore.
i had a great sweet sixteen

and i need to study for ss 'o' level which is tomorrow!
after that i can celebrate like mad

i'm still pondering whether i should invite him for my birthday bbq
i want to because it's my last year in singapore
i don't want because it's embarrassing.

whatever
i shall ponder about it after tomorrow!

going to watch F1 later!
GO LEWIS HAMILTON! :D
i support you!
you must win! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Day 45 without him.

he's online
he blogged

shit this. shit everything
the pain is back.


science 'O' level practical tomorrow
must concentrate no matter what

T, get out of my mind now.


you only know how to blame others
have you ever reflect on yourself?
you can blame me. you can blame your friends. you can blame her too
but eventually, you will see that you're the one who is at fault

blame yourself for spoiling our friendship
blame yourself for the way i'm treating you
blame yourself for the reason why i don't see you as a friend

i didn't want this to happen too
but you gave me no choice
you're the worst friend i've ever had!
i wish that i hadn't fall for you
but everything is just too late

and you know what?
don't bother apologising to me.
apologise to yourself
apologise to your conscience

it's up to you to choose

Day 39 without him.

counting down: 1 week till 'O' level science practical & 10 more days to first 'O' level paper!!!

so much to do, so little time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
omg, i don't know what to do now!!!

damn stressed up and fed up with some people

i thought that when i cried on saturday, it meant that the worst was over
but, i was wrong.

it was still not over.
suddenly i kept on thinking of him from tuesday onwards

when i saw him online yesterday, i felt a tinge of pain
i still can't get over the fact that he chose her over me.
sometimes i wonder...
what was last year's good times to him?
sometimes i wonder...
why was he such a coward?

anyway. i'm really very thankful to have fawn, autard and silvia for that period
especially autard for listening to me crap and cry


maybe i'll loathe my birthday this year...

okay. NEED TO FOCUS!
'O' level is more important!!!
target: 5 distinctions! & L1R4 7-13points
1 distinction down, 4 more to go!

if he can get 7 distinction, why can't i be as good?!
i've already beat him in chinese
why can't i beat him in the rest?

i don't believe that i can't.



-youlovehermorethanyouusedtoloveme-

day 8 without him.

i wonder how some people could move on so easily
just finished reading the pact

anyway, sw and i made a pact
(not because of the book)

i think i'll buy the novel "the pact"
though it's weird and all, i think it's a good book overall

i enjoy reading tragic love story and romantic happy story
but sadly, i always mix reality with fairy-tale
an ironic thing: i love disney princess especially belle

wth.
i know my love life never ends happily
shit. blabber too much.
whatever.

 

-becauseweallhaveourlifetotakecareof-

day 7 without him

i hate life.
i can only hope that he's living his life much better than i am.

but who am i kidding?
obviously he's having fun with his life and his new girl
why would he even bother about me, a stupid little girl who is younger than him?!

i really want to go back xanga
and it's not because of him
i'm not used to lj
i prefer xanga
i swear in every god's name, is not because of him that i want to go back xanga



you have a new life
new girl, new school
she has not left the school
she's still stuck, though you've left
you're just not being considerate

 

-becauseyouwalkedawaywithoutsparinganythoughts-

whenever i passed by XXX, i can't stop thinking about him
him... and her
her... and him


why must life suck so much!?
why must i face such injustice!?
i've liked him since last year! i met him 2 years ago!
we became friends, close friends to be specific!
i told him some of my darkest secrets! and so did he!
and SHE just came in and ruin my life.

it's just so damn bloody unfair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



-becauseshewasalreadykickedout-

i've officially moved to lj
it's harder not to think about the past
but i've no choice

he has his girl
i have my 'o's

whatever.
said before, i don't have a good life


glad to have them by my side on sunday and today
i love you girls!
thank you so much.



you said things but you never mean them
i presume that you forget
but the truth is, you just love to lie to me

 

-becauseshesmoreimportantthanme-

this time, i'm definite about my decision.
i am going to move from xanga.
i've no intention of going back
memories haunt me when i'm there...

( i left already. be happy. )
& to the best guy in my life...
happy birthday dad.

-sinceileftyoumustbeecstatic-